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Monday, February 24, 2014

17 Things That Suck About Being A Little Bit Fat

OCT. 5, 2012 By January Nelson

1. Depending on what you’re wearing, you can either look borderline thin or borderline obese. One false move — one ill-fitting shirt or unflattering pair of jeans — and all of a sudden you’re FAT.

2. People who haven’t seen you in awhile tell you that you look “healthy” and then you cry because you know that just means that you have a fleshier mid-section.

3. Nothing fits exactly the way you want it to. And then when you want to wear something too big that hides your body, you just look even fatter. Only truly skinny people can look good in oversized clothing. If someone a little bit fat wears something that’s a size too big, it just looks like an unfortunate accident.

4. You start to wonder if strangers see you on the street and identify you as being fat. You don’t weigh enough to have it be a unanimous decision but there certainly are people who would describe you as being “bigger.”

5. You can’t tell what’s natural curves and what’s the product of sitting on your ass for the last 25 years.

6. You only really think about losing weight when you see yourself naked. Other times, you’re just like, “Meh. I don’t think I’m fat enough yet. I’ll just wait and see what happens.”

7. There are three rolls on your stomach. Everyone has the first two rolls but the third one is reserved for people who are a little bit fat, such as yourself.

8. Your family used to make fat jokes about you at Christmas because you were always pretty skinny. Now they just don’t say anything.

9. Sex with the lights off. Always.

10. Everyone you sleep with is skinnier than you which makes you feel bad, like you’re not keeping up your end of the 20-something bargain or something.

11. You notice that everyone started to eat healthier except for you. You are the only one who’s still ordering pasta at dinner. When did this happen? When did everyone agree to stop consuming carbs? Was there a meeting about this that you didn’t know about?

12. Your clothes from three years ago still fit. You just look fatter in them.

13. You’re not fat enough to want to change your lifestyle, even though you feel more and more uncomfortable in your own skin.

14. You hate every piece of clothing you own but you avoid going shopping because you can’t bring yourself to buy things in a bigger size.

15. You know it wouldn’t be that difficult to lose the weight which makes you feel even lazier and more pathetic.

16. You see yourself gaining weight in places that you didn’t even know was possible. Like a fat collarbone? Who has that?

17. You know the thing that comes after a “little bit fat” is “actually fat” so start changing your life now! You totally will. Just after eating this plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

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